YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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