i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
