god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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