i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Randomize
