no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
