Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
