I just saw a hot homeless man
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
