Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I look better un-naked...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
