i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
