if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
