Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
