strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
