Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
