so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
