Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Fuck appropriateness.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
