I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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