and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
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