Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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