Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
