Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
