Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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