It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
