yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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