Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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