margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
