is your mom at the bar?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
