Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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