had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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