if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
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