Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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