You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She's JV to your varsity
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
