Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
