I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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