That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
