Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
