hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
