it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Sober January is a disaster.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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