yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
