How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
