May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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