did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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