We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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