I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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