New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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