The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
