i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
