is your mom at the bar?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
