Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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