Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
