Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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